I am back

Okay, I was away for a while. There are loads of responsibilities that we crows have to live with. And we also take holiday. I had been on a long vacation with Mrs. Crow to England. They have very few but huge crows there. And they are a friendly lot.

It is a nice place for a holiday. But food is scarce. The people do not throw food around. Hence the crows have to search real hard to get food. That probably explains why there are such few crows there.

Yet, Mrs. Crow and I had a lovely time. Now that we are back all nice and happy, I shall blog more often.

In the meanwhile I see a lot has happened in the country. That Kejriwal fellow whom the common public and crows were worshiping has suddenly resigned and become the butt of all jokes. The elections are round the corner and I see all sort of weird men and women are contending. These humans just never cease to amuse me

So give me a while. Let me get myself updated. I shall get blogging seriously then. See you folks soo.

The Statue of Unity

Source: Internet

Humans, they love to argue with each other. Even if it is about things debatable, yet they will argue.

Yesterday on television, I saw this news about the Statue of Unity project. Is it just a coincidence or did they want to rhyme it with the Statue of Liberty. Either way, humans just plain lack creativity. I have, multiple times heard them talk of ‘thinking out of the box’, but that’s just a talk.

Creativity is something they should have learnt from us crows.

The Statue of Unity is to be built in the memory of Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel, will be the tallest statue in the world. This statue will be located on an island situated 3 kilometers away from the Sardar Sarovar Dam in Gujarat.

The project, I thought, was a marvelous thing. I remember my great grand father telling me stories of Indian independence. He spoke about the man – Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel with a lot of reverence.

And then the two humans who were sharing the television with me started arguing about the project forcing me to move my attention from the television on to them.

One thing that the humans just never comprehend is the fact that everything has its pros and cons. No, they just do not get it. They would put their views forwards and start arguing without accepting the goods and the flaws.

Human 1: What a waste of money. 2500 crore, can you believe it?

Human 2: Dude, imagine the feeling of unity and nationality when this does get done.

Human 1: What unity, man? Here people have not food to eat and you bloody waste money like this. We are a poor country. There are important things to worry about.

Human 2: Hey, this will be a thing to be proud of for us Indians world wide. Do you even know what that means? And think of it futuristically. The kind of money this statue and island will make out of tourism. It will be the largest one in the world, man, IN THE WORLD. People from across nations will be coming to see it.

Human 1: Crap! We are dying here today and you think of future.

Well, the humans went on with this argument for a long time. It heated up; they began hurling abuses at each other and ultimately they walked away in a huff.

Technically both of them were correct. But humans, the way humans are, they just never agree with each other. Gah!

PS: The Statue of Unity is a great project, at least for us crows we now will have a resting place when we fly over Gujrat.

That thing that vibrates.

Source: internet

You humans do have a perverted mind, don’t you? You just never think straight.
No, this post is not about the substandard stuff you thought of on reading the title of this write-up. This post is about mobile phones.

Mobile phones have always over-awed by me. So yesterday when I saw one lying abandoned on the lawn, it did not take me too long to swoop down and grab it. It’s not called stealing. We crows do not steal. We only believe in finders-keepers. And there is nothing immoral about that.

While I was flying back holding it in my beak the witless thing started vibrating. With the beak, comes the head and the entire body as we know. So my whole body started vibrating, I started feeling funny, I lost my balance and crashed against a thick branch.

While I was vibrating I saw two dim wit humans point out towards me and laugh uncontrollably. I am mighty sure that it wasn’t a funny sight. But humans, you know, they love to laugh at absolutely anything. So much so for their sense of humour. Gah!

So here I am injured and Mrs. Crow, bless her darling soul, is taking good care of me.

The ancestors had passed on this information that human beings in their illusive intelligence will create harmful gadgets.

Ancestors were right. They are always right. I have seen on the television how mobile phones are already causing harm to mankind and more importantly crowkind.

But humans! These humans will never ever learn.

PS: This mobile phone is actually a pretty cool thing. It just gets hot every time I play something called subway-surfer on it.

Of potatoes and world peace

Source: internet

These stupid humans end up giving me palpitations about trivial matters like scarcity of potatoes when I have bigger matters like black hole, Mangalyaan and world peace to worry about.

I mean, who really cares about potatoes. Seriously. Gah!

The humans have really managed to pamper themselves with good food. That, in particular, is one thing they have failed to learn from us crows – to live out of what is readily available. We have been trying to teach this to the humans for a very long time now. Sigh!

The fools that they are, they call us scavengers. What they don’t get is that we have been practicing for this food scarcity for centuries now. We always knew that onions and potatoes won’t last forever. We were trained by our ancestors to live off left overs and garbage bins.

And so you see who has won today. We survive with ease and you sweat over potatoes.

Oh, you duncical humans, when will you ever learn?

Now will you be kind enough to change the TV channel from the potato news to the one about the Mars mission.

For once will you get your priorities right.

Potatoes! Gah!

PS: I feel great about the whole Mangalyaan mission. I just hope they dont find such moron up there on Mars.

Cricket – this is how it started.

Source – Internet

For the last two days there has been an extravagant publicity about this gentleman called Sachin Tendulkar in the city. He plays cricket. The humans, they call him God.

Gah! Like they even know what God is. Or cricket is.

Playing with a stick and a stone is what we crows have done for centuries. It was a popular game amongst us. It still is. And then one fine day a bunch of little kids saw us play with our stick and stones and in the process of imitating us – humans have always imitated us. Their mere existence is because of us – they started playing with a stick and ball. They called the game crows hit.

Crows hit became a fashionable game and continued to do so amid children. The adult humans got involved in it too and then one fine day they changed the name from crows hit to cricket.

Today, the game is a religion in this country. Religion! Can you believe it! We crows have contributed an entire religion to the world; beside the many other things which I will talk about later some day.

We have been the pioneers in cricket and yet these foolish humans blame us of things like this. Gah!

Gratitude, oh species with two hands, two legs and no brain, when will you learn gratitude?

 

PS: I do enjoy watching Sachin Tendulkar play. He is probably the only guy who respects our cricket contribution to the world. I will miss him.